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Thursday, February 10, 2011

LA-Draft2

I climbed out of the window, and did a head-first dive into the sea. The water was freezing, but that was the least of my worries. I swam deeper, and soaked myself in the salty water. How refreshing!
“Dad! ... Dad!!” the voice of a young boy came floating into my mind. I wondered where that voice came from when a persistent tap on my shoulder jolted me out of my daydream. It was my son. I realised I had been daydreaming, reminiscing about the past when I was a boy at the kampong in Pulau Ubin. In those days, my house was built of wooden sticks and floated on the water, and whenever I wanted, I could leap out of the window, into the sea and enjoy the calmness of the waters.
“Dad, may I play the computer?” my son, Sam, pleaded me. I gave him my consent and advised him not to play for too long. In my time, there was not even a computer, much less to play it. These days, children have the luxury to surf the net and play online games on a computer, something that was never heard of in those days when I was a boy.
I started reminiscing again thought of how I used to spend my time those days, when there were no computers or gaming devices to pass my time. I used to join my neighbours at the seashore where we would play catching, build sandcastles and sometimes collect seashells. I can fondly recall once when one of my neighbours, Ahmad, who was two years my senior, went as far buying a seashell from which I picked for 5 comic books because he wanted to complete his collection of seashells which consisted of a variety of colours. Seeing his desperateness as an opportunity for more comics, I negotiated for 15 comic books. Ahmad was very reluctant but eventually, he agreed and I walked home victoriously that day, the proud owner of 15 more comic books, more than half of those being new books.
“Paul! Can you help me get a sack of rice?” I was awoken once again, this time by my wife. As I started my car, getting ready to drive to the supermarket, I thought about how convenient life was in the past. The provision shop selling daily necessities was just across the road. There was not even a need to take public transports, much less drive a car. Today, the nearest supermarket is 2 kilometres away, and a car is a must-have.
As I queued up in the snarling queue to pay for the sack of rice, I could not help thinking how easy it was to pay for my purchases in the past. We rarely used money but rather, did something in return. I can vividly recall that the provision shop was our neighbour, Uncle Beng. When we purchased things from him, we would pay him in several other ways. I remember once when I “bought” a packet of sweets and 2 can drinks from him, all I had to do was to help him carry 3 boxes of canned food from the delivery truck to his shop. It was as simple as that back then.
After returning home, and spending some time reading the newspapers, it was late in the night. I was tussling on the bed but still could not sleep peacefully. It was because of the sound of a few teenage boys who were having a party at the void deck. I wished that I can experience again the tranquillity of the night back in my days in the kampong. At night, the only sound that could be heard of was the calm sweeping of the waves in the sea. It was the ideal environment to sleep and rejuvenate.
After a period of time, I finally managed to sleep, and I thought about how much difference there was between the past and the present. There are so many differences in life in the past, the present and probably, the future. As I slowly drifted to sleep, I thought about a word to describe all this happenings. There could only be an answer. Change.

1 comment:

  1. Ren Kai, you do a very nice job here of evoking life in a kampong, and showing just how different it is to living in the big city now. I also like that you alternate between the past and present, but there are very few people who actually live on Pulau Ubin, even 30-40 years ago. So if your narrator lived in a mainland kampong when he was a boy, he's a bit too young here, as many of them would have been redeveloped during this time period.

    In fact, because your kampong details are the most interesting thing about your story (I really like the image of him jumping out of his window into the sea), I have a proposal; rewrite this so that the entire story takes place in a kampong on Singapore's mainland, and take us through a day of this boy's life.

    To keep the theme of "Change," this could be one of the last days that he'll be living there; the following week, the government will be buldozing the place to the ground, and so he and his family have to move into an HDB flat. I think that changing the story in this way can turn what you've done into a great story.

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